Goodbye Oktoberfest...we hardly knew ye.

As if there weren't 800 billion other reasons to slop back a bunch of beers, Oktoberfest always offered one more. Or eight more. But who's counting.

This weekend marked the end of a 40 year tradition in Denver – the tradition of wearing lederhosen, cute but slutty German dirndls (you know - boob lace-ups), drinking huge steins full of either shit beer (Bud) or decent German beer (Paulaner), porking back thick, delicious sausages made from baby cows, dancing and singing along to the world's silliest music (Polka) and openly performing the Chicken Dance. Why dear God, why???

Say what you will ("That shit is overpriced," "Why is Oktoberfest in September?", or "Whatever, I'm going to down some PBR at blabby-blab bar") about Oktoberfest Denver – I actually looked forward to it every year. Why you ask? Because Oktoberfest is a celebration of beer. Just beer. Beer and beer alone. Beer.

Sure, there's the GABF. And it's glorious. But the GABF is also a celebration of marketing and networking, not of just the beer itself.

Oktoberfest was like a sort of religious gathering, albeit with sport-os and drunks. But still - a collection of people gathering to celebrate that one beautiful thing that gets us through life. The thing that has helped us get laid, speak loudly, dance without inhibition and belch with gusto. Sweet, delicious, beer.

"But what about St. Patty's Day?" you ask. Sorry - that fest was born from Druid traditions and the celebration of St. Patrick kicking ass in Ireland. Beer was just a by-product of that event - not the inspiration.

"Ok, but what about the marriage of King Ludwig I to Therese of Bavaria, and the parade that followed, which started the tradition of Oktoberfest in 1835?" Oh snap. You got me there. Dammit. Damn Wikipedia. OK so maybe beer wasn't the total and complete focus of the original event, but hey - what happens when you get married? You drink beer. A LOT of it. So, yeah...BEER.

Unfortunately not everyone in the Denver Metro area shares my fondness for this now nonexistent event, thus Larimer Associates' decision to put the kibosh on Oktoberfest Denver. Now the only German festival I have to look forward to is the ultra lame Kristkindl Market at Cherry Creek. Puke.

Well at any rate, I enjoyed myself one last time at Oktoberfest Denver this year, imbibing two huge steins of Paulaner Heffeweisen and various other beers picked up along the way. My companions and I danced to the corny stylings of Vanilla Pop, drank even more beer and woke up the next day to depressingly empty steins that will no longer be filled by draft. Unless you know of a bar in town that will accommodate lushes with steins.

Auf Wiedersehen, dear Oktoberfest Denver.

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Comment by Max Vitesse on September 30, 2009 at 9:29am: I think it's time for quest to find a bar that lets you bring your own giant stein.

Comment by Erin B. on October 2, 2009 at 9:10am: That's like my biggest wet dream.

Comment by timmy on October 7, 2009 at 2:43pm: nice photo. looks like you made your hat from material cut from the tail of sam's shirt - now that's some german ingenuity!

Comment by Erin B. on October 7, 2009 at 3:04pm: I took all of my fashion advice from The Sound of Music. You should see what I did with our hand towels.

Comment by Col. Hector Bravado on October 7, 2009 at 9:41pm: Stop saying "dirndls."

Comment by Shanister on October 8, 2009 at 10:17am: I ran the Hustlehoff and loved watching people retch a mile into because they had a beer beforehand. I'll miss Oktoberfest (although I hear there may be a new batch of promoters taking up the mantel).

Comment by Ewing Klipspringer on October 11, 2009 at 12:38am: At least some of the mountain towns still carry on the tradition. I will personally miss the wiener dog races: getting downtown by 9am and enjoying a morning beer while watching sausage-shaped dogs in funny costumes run up and down the faux turf runway.